turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize