I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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