I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
