i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
