one word: firstdatebathroomanal
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
