Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
