are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
