i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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