the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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