They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
