When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
