I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
