Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
