I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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