Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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