dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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