Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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