its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
