He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
