His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
