her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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