Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
