I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
