guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
