This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
