Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize