the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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