you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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