Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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