Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
