we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's an acceptable place to lick
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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