Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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