could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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