I think I won the penis lottery.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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