K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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