she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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