I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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