Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
home. puking in laundry basket.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize