isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
