we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.