I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
