I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
