He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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