I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
