two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
