You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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