The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
