plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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