Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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