And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
