Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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