I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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