You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
