Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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