As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
