Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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