capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
