Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
