I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
