Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
