I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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